Halloween Horror Marathon: Top 10 Scariest Non-Horror Films

Yesterday, I mentioned that the majority of horror films do not scare me. Blood, guts, ghouls, guns, knives – these are things that do not phase me in the slightest. Real life terror, however, frightens me to no end. Seeing shit in movies that, depending if you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time, could happen to just about anyone – that’s the stuff that creeps in and stays with me.

So, for something a little different, here’s a list of the scariest non-horror films I’ve ever seen (all of which, for the record, I love).

Halloween Horror Marathon: Top 10 Horror Films

This horror week has been harder than I thought. Truth be told, I had two more franchise breakdowns ready to go, but I no longer saw the need to propel the trend that I long ago discovered: many original horror films are awesome – grade A, perhaps. And their subsequent sequels/prequels/remakes are, by and large, dogshit.

So let’s have some fun. Below is my list of my personal favorite horror films. A few notes: masterpieces like Psycho, Alien, and Jaws won’t be mentioned below. More on why here. 

Also, these films are listed in order of how… horrific they are. For example, the number three film on this list is my favorite movie of the bunch, but the number one choice is my favorite horror film of the bunch. Enjoy!

Halloween Horror Marathon: Psycho Franchise Breakdown

Like all of the franchise breakdowns I’m doing this week (but to a far harsher degree here) tracking Norman Bates’ filmic demise only gets worse as time goes on. We start with a masterful film, and end up with one of the most ridiculed movies of all time. And so it is and so it goes. (Note: I have not seen, nor plan to see, the ‘80s TV movie, Bates Motel.)

Halloween Horror Marathon: Hannibal Lecter Franchise Breakdown

Is there a movie villain more deserving of limitless iconic praise than Dr. Hannibal Lecter? Well, that depends. If we only examine Anthony Hopkins’ performance as Hannibal the Cannibal in The Silence of the Lambs, then I think he ranks as high as any film villain out there. But is the character as strong in subsequent films? Allow me to thrill you with my acumen.

Halloween Horror Marathon: Friday the 13th Franchise Breakdown

For the week leading up to Halloween, I’m dedicating this blog to all things horror. Over the next few days, I’m going to break down several popular horror film franchises by giving mini reviews of each respective film. And what better way to start off than with the man himself?

The name Jason Voorhees is and will forever be synonymous with the horror genre. Here’s a look at every film that has featured him. Sequels, prequels, remakes, reimaginings – everything goes.

Halloween Horror Marathon: Paranormal Activity Franchise Breakdown

Having gone back and reread my reviews for Paranormal Activity and its sequels, I noticed that I prefaced every review by saying that my initial screening of Paranormal Activity marks the scariest movie-going experience I’ve ever had. I suppose I’ve mentioned that year after year because, well, it’s true.

Paranormal Activity is a great film. Not a great horror film, but a great film period. Does watching it at home with the afternoon sun pouring in lessen its fright? Of course. But does that take away from the film’s overall impact? Not in the slightest.

And here’s where things get tricky.

Halloween Horror Marathon: How Do You Define a Horror Film?

As part of my Halloween Horror Blogging Marathon (which begins tomorrow, or, I guess, today), I’m dedicating the next week to the best that horror cinema has to offer. In preparation, I’ve been doing a lot of research on various horror films, and just this moment, I was struck with a question: how do you define what a horror film is?

the Directors: Edward Burns

In August, as I wrapped my top 10 directors of all time, I decided to tag on Edward Burns as an honorable mention. I admitted upfront that his inclusion on that list may seem drastic, as there were so many more prominent and notable filmmakers left off, but if I’m being absolutely truthful, no director influences me more as a filmmaker than Edward Burns.

The man makes movies for that reason alone: to make movies. He isn’t worried about money or fame – he writes, produces, and stars in all of his films because that is the best way he can think to express himself. If that’s not inspiring, then I don’t really know what is.

Looking over his filmography, most of his body of work is made up of movies I typically wouldn’t enjoy. Yet I am taken with all of them. There are a few reasons for this, the primary one being: Edward Burns shows that anyone with talent and the drive to make it, can do just that.

10 Exceptional Cases of Wives Interrogating Their Cheating Husbands

I hope you didn’t think I was going to let the men get off easy. Yesterday, I listed my 10 favorite instances of husbands interrogating their cheating wives. Today, the men get chewed out.

I hope you enjoy the second (and final) installment of this admittedly random (but no less fun) series!

10 Exceptional Cases of Husbands Interrogating Their Cheating Wives

There’s something so uncomfortable and real about a scene in which a film character interrogates his or her spouse about their fleeting fidelity. And after watching this scene for, I don’t know, the 100^th time last week, my brain started churning as to the best cheating wife interrogations. 

Here are 10 of my favorites. Some are heartbreaking, others are jaw dropping, and some are just goddamned hilarious. Enjoy.

10 Great True Story Movies You Already Know the Endings To

I’ve read a ton of reviews of Ben Affleck’s new film, Argo, since posting mine a few days ago, and while most are rather positive, I’ve noticed a trend in reviews, especially among older-aged critics.

Many say despite the fact that they like Argo, they find themselves unable to fully appreciate it because they already know the story’s ending. This is an age-old movie discussion: Can you enjoy a film that you already know the ending to? My simple answer: of course you can.

Seven Psychopaths

Seven Psychopaths is the kind of movie where I am completely aware of what is going on, yet I have no idea what’s happening. It is nonsensical and bathshit insane, but, at the same time, fully confident of its absurdity. It never holds back or dials down – it simply pushes it further and, somehow, continually manages to increase its hysteria.

Now, what I’ve just described is either my kind of movie, or something I don’t give two shits about. That’s the risk Seven Psychopaths takes. You’re bound to either love it or loathe it (or be completely indifferent toward it). If this is your kind of movie, then you’ll simply love every second of director Martin McDonagh’s tale. If you aren’t feeling it, then, well, you aren’t feeling it, and you’re going to be miserable.

Argo

Ben Affleck’s Argo tells a sort-of true story about the very real story in which a sole member of the CIA (one evidently equipped with very big balls) attempted to retrieve six American diplomats out of Iran during the country’s hostage crisis of the late ‘70s-early ‘80s.

This is a rather plot-heavy movie, so before I dive into how it all went down, let me throw you a few hyperbolic messages of praise. Argo is an impossibly tense, superbly acted, wonderfully entertaining political thriller. In typical George Clooney fashion (he acts as a producer here), the film is also a worthy throwback to the best of ‘70s American cinema. The 1970s brought with it the finest crop of domestic films this country has ever seen in one single decade. So, to warrant legimate throwback praise, your film must really be doing something right. Which Argo does. By a long shot.

In Character: Woody Harrelson

I should open by relenting that I don’t necessarily consider Woody Harrelson a character actor, per se. But no matter, in looking over his entire body of work, I was rather surprised to see how much of it is laced with utter perfection. He’s delivered countless exceptional performances, yet I rarely call him one of my favorite actors. Maybe that’ll now change.

In Memoriam: Harris Savides, Cinematographer

If you’ve seen a really fine-looking independent film in the past 12 years, there’s a damn fine chance it was shot by Harris Savides, an expert American cinematographer who, for reasons still unknown, passed away earlier today at the age of 55.

I’m fascinated by virtually every aspect of the filmmaking process, but there’s something about the art of cinematography that can move me explicably. A great cinematographer can provide images that evoke any number of emotions, possibly many at once. Savides had that ability. And more.