Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Jackass 3D

Here’s where Jackass 3D lost me: we fade in on a miniature train set. As the train loops in and out between the small buildings of a town, the camera slowly pans back, showing as a green volcano.  Suddenly, explosive diarrhea shoots out of the top of the “volcano” which is, of course, some dude’s ass painted forest green.  Then more shit spews out.  Then some more. Then a last little bit.

All the surrounding Jackassers laugh uproariously before we see the exact same clip again, this time in slow motion.  Really?

Some of the stunts in the Jackass franchise (yes, it can be called a franchise, due to the shitload of money the films make) are actually quite funny.  Can I tell you what any of them are?  Of course not.  Why?  Because for every hilarious stunt, there is five supremely disgusting ones.

The Volcano Shitter is just the beginning.  There’s flying a remote-controlled helicopter that is tied to the end of a guy’s dick, drinking the sweat produced from an obese man’s workout, and strapping a mini video camera next to a guy’s balls as he proceeds to urinate on members of the film’s cast and crew.

This isn’t funny.  It’s fucking gross.  And that’s probably why the theatre I was in, filled almost entirely with 18-27 year old males and their girlfriends, didn’t laugh once during any of those skits.

Beyond the grossness of it all, here’s what I was thinking while watching this film:
  • Smart to put it in 3D, which undoubtedly helped propel it to a $50 million opening weekend
  • What kind of drugs are these guys on?
  • How much of this is real?  (Which stunts are completed using legit stuntman and/or visual effects?)
  • When will it be over?

The answer to my last question couldn’t come soon enough.  D-


  1. The four of us that saw this film (40 - 54) laughed nearly non-stop the entire time. Gross...hell yes, but hilarious all the same. Lighten up and go enjoy this movie. After is called Jackass!!

  2. In no way do I disagree with you. Watching guys throw themselves in the path of a jet stream is funny, hilarious even.

    Roger Ebert said film is best when viewed as eliciting an emotional response. And feeling like you're going to puke because you are watching some guy drink another man's exercise sweat, well, that just isn't worth my $15.

    Also, it does piss me off that this "Jackass" jumped on the 3D bandwagon, when the effects (added after principle photography) were barely noticeable.

    But have no fear, these Jackasses are planning to release part 3.5 in early '11.