Wednesday, September 16, 2009


Ten struggling independent filmmakers could’ve made their first feature.  One thousand families could’ve received free health care. 14,285 African children could’ve been fed for their entire young lives. 

What do these statistics have in common?  They are all better uses for the amount of money it took to make Whiteout.  A film that isn’t worth the time it would take me to type a plot summary. 

Why, Kate Beckinsale, why?  You have so much talent, as is evident in The Last Days of Disco, Brokedown Palace, Laurel Canyon, The Aviator and (most of all) Snow Angels. 

Stop.  Selling.  Out.

We’re still a few months away, but Whiteout is right up there with Transformers 2 for worst film of the decade. 

A friend recently asked me: “if you don’t like these cheesy horror movies, then why the hell do you go see them?”

My response was simple: “So you don’t have to.”  F


  1. This was less bad than it was just outright boring and predictable... which is kind of bad.

    I wish I could remember what drew me to even try this one a few weeks ago. Maybe I was on a Kate Beckinsale or Gabriel Macht kick. No idea; my brain has wiped it out, much like my memory of the movie in general.

    1. Ha shit, what a short, punchy little review this was. Horrible movie. Sorry you had to sit through it!