Tuesday, July 6, 2010

The Last Airbender

Wow, Sex and the City 2 has some real competition for the worst, most pointless movie of the year. Seriously, why the hell is M. Night Shyamalan still allowed to make movies? The Sixth Sense was great, Unbreakable was better, Signs was… okay, but what since? Anyone remember Lady in the Water? Didn’t think so.

I can’t even begin to explain the virtually unintelligible plot. For what I managed to pull together, the world as we know it is gone and it is now ruled by different “benders.” There’s the evil Firebenders, the quiet Waterbenders, and the polite Earthbenders, with the Airbenders having reached extinction. Until… DUN DUN DUUUN, now.

Two young Waterbenders discover the lone Airbender frozen underwater. This Airbender is an Avatar, which, I think, means he can bend any of the elements; he just has to learn how to do it first.

You with me? Didn’t think so.

My first problem with this movie is that I couldn’t tell what the hell was going on throughout any of it. It’s being marketed as a PG-rated kid’s movie, and let me tell you something, if I don’t understand what’s happening, kids won’t either. Think the 3-D will save face? Not a chance. Shyamalan, like the makers of Prince of Persia and Clash of the Titans, is just the latest sellout to convert his 2-D movie into 3-D during post production. The result? 3-D effects that look about as vivid as a South Park cartoon.

The Last Airbender is based on a popular Nickelodeon anime cartoon. I’m told by trusted sources that the cartoon is actually good. Why change it to live action? Why not release it as a feature-length animated film?

And, lastly, one of my biggest cinematic pet peeves is when a film is shamelessly set up for a sequel, as if Shyamalan is saying, “Haha! Now you have to give me two more films or no one will know how it ends!

I haven’t discussed the music, cinematography, production design or acting. Forgive me. They’re all atrocious. Satisfied?

This first installment focuses solely on the Avatar learning how to Waterbend, and given the film’s lackluster box office performance (it grossed $70 million but cost over double that) we can only pray that this is the last we see of the Airbender. F


  1. I don't throw these around casually, but I really did LOL at "Seriously, why the hell is M. Night Shyamalan still allowed to make movies?"

    1. Haha shit. I don't even bother to review movies like this anymore. So much wasted energy on bad flicks. Glad you got a laugh out of it though!

  2. When I was a kid I really liked to watch cartoons and even today I like to watch some cartoons because: 1. there are funny AND smart; 2. I rather watch cartoons than some Romanian TV shows. ALL. ARE. SHIT. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMAnq5HYsms, sorry if you have a headache). So I'd say Avatar: The Last Airbender is the second best cartoon of all time, after Looney Tunes (but a place above Adventure Time). I'd suggest you to watch it. (Note: If you want to see something funny watch episode 17 season 3, The Ember Island Players. It sums up the series and what the characters would think about the film.)
    So what do I think about this film? Imagine that Shyamalan would make a sequel to Taxi Driver and end up making a film equal good with this one. Seriously I was wtf when I saw the film what (http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs46/f/2009/204/e/b/The_Last_Airbender_Cast_by_UDXProdx.jpg) Shyamalan did. Now for Shyamalan's credit he made a film based of the first season, whitch is impossible. You'd need some of the best writers to make at least three films based of what happened in that season. But for the most colorful and funny cartoon he made the dullest and least colorful film possible.

    1. This is what I've heard from people who loved the cartoons, that Shyamalan just completely ruined this movie. Still one of the worst films I've ever seen.