Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Movie Jail Relay Race


In the comment section for my recent review of This is 40, I explained to one loyal reader my personal distinction between indifference and hate, as it relates to film. To summarize, I basically explained how uneasy it makes me feel to hate a piece of work that falls under the artistic medium I love. I don’t want to hate any movie, actor, director and so on. But sometimes we do, and Nostra and Terrence’s brilliant new Relay Race opens the opportunity for a little friendly payback. 

What the Movie Jail Relay Race purposes is simple: 10 movie-related people are thrown in jail and a blogger has the chance to remove one person (after they state their reason why) before throwing a new person in. One goes free, one gets slammed.

Here are the rules in Nostra’s words:

It’s time to put some movie people in jail. The object is to give a prosecutor’s argument as to why these movie people belong in “Movie Jail” whether it be for violating the integrity of the content source of one their films, or being a sell-out, just making bad movies overall, getting worse as time goes on or not being in a good movie for many years.

The baton will be passed to another blogger who will have to do the following:

In order to free someone from Movie Jail they have to do two things
1 – Give a defense attorney argument defending the plaintiff
2 – Pay bail: the cost of which is another case for the court and a prosecutor’s argument against the actor/director of their choice that will replace the one set free.

There must always be 10 people in Movie Jail.

Bloggers Who’ve Taken Part in the Relay:

The Current Inmates:
Jennifer Aniston

Michael Cera

Tom Cruise

Clint Eastwood

George Lucas

Robert De Niro

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer

M. Night Shyamalan

Lars von Trier

Sam Worthington


Who I’m Defending: Robert De Niro
Those are 10 rather worthy convictions right there, some more than others. And while I am a steadfast admirer of the films of Lars von Trier, I do think he deserves a least a few more rounds in the slammer. So I’m bailing out De Niro. Why? Three words: Silver Linings Playbook.

No one has been more hopelessly let down by De Niro’s current career than me. Well, actually, that’s not true. Most of us have been hopelessly let down by the contemporary state of Robert De Niro’s career. But his work in Silver Linings Playbook changes things. His performance as Pat Solitano, Sr. calmly, gently, fiercely and tenderly asserts that De Niro’s still got it. There’s Rupert Pupkin’s desperation, Jake LaMotta’s anger, Travis Bickle’s awkward sensitivity – it’s the role of a lifetime, or at least a lifetime that hasn’t spawned a great acting performance in, what 15 years?

So, for now, I cautiously grant De Niro a stay of execution. Silver Linings Playbook got you a pass, old boy. Let’s try to keep it going.

Who I’m Throwing In: Al Pacino
Might as well swap one legend for another. My argument here isn’t particularly strong, but I don’t suppose it has to be. The films speak for themselves. Pacino is perfect as Roy Cohn in Angels in America, and if I stretch, I can call his work in You Don’t Know Jack worthy, at best. He’s got a David Mamet- penned Phil Spector biopic coming up, but keep in mind, these are all HBO programs.

Fact is, Pacino hasn’t delivered a Pacino-good performance since The Insider (he’s damn fine in Insomnia, but not The Insider fine). And what’s worse, not only are his current roles lame and phoned-in (like De Niro’s), but they’re fucking awful to boot. Playing himself in Jack and Jill was the most confounding, repugnant career move he’s ever made. Give me a Silver Lining and maybe I’ll consider giving Pacino a pass.

Who I’m Passing It Onto:
Tough choice, but I’m going with Steven at Surrender to the Void. Why? Because I can’t wait to hear his argument for whomever he throws in the slammer. Seldom do people write vehement prose like Steven does.

36 comments:

  1. I KNEW you will choose Bob! :) I would have done so myself but I have yet to see Silver Lining Playbook, so I didn't want to base my defense only on the trailer and the word of mouth ^^

    I agree with Pacino. I LOVE his work on HBO and I think many times HBO films surpass those played in cinemas in terms of quality, but he really needs to do something in feature film shown theatrically that will win people back.

    Oh, Steven is going to defend the shit out of Lars :(

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    1. Off the strength of his Silver Linings performance, Bob totally deserves to be bailed out here.

      Oooh yeah, I'm sure he will. But I can't wait to see who he throws in.

      Thanks for passing this onto me, Sati!

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  2. You goddamn right I will defend Mein Fuhrer!

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  3. Interesting and I was expecting someone to take De Niro out. Agree with you on Pacino...he hasn't had a great role in a while...Thanks for joining the relay race!

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    1. Pacino's current career just saddens me to no end. Throw him in the movie slammer!

      Thank YOU for starting the Relay!

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  4. Be interesting to see if Jennifer Aniston EVER gets bailed out, hahahaha

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  5. Excellent calls, Alex. Both fronts.

    These two have followed a similar, regrettable path.

    One in, one out.

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    1. Thanks man. You said it all right there: One in, one out. Damn shame.

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  6. Bobby D's pretty OK in Being Flynn too. Maybe a bit hammy. By his recent standards, he's had a fucking stellar year. However, 50 Cent recently announced they'll be co-starring in a new movie, so he can basically fuck off. I think Pacino might be in that too, so fair enough for nominating him.

    I don't get why Clint's in there, though. I hate the Republicans as much as any forward-thinking person, and heard J. Edgar was pretty boring, but he is incredibly old and was making decent movies only a couple of years ago. Someone should give the dude a break! And I'm in a remarkably pro-Tom Cruise mood after seeing Collateral.

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    1. I keep hearing polarizing reactions to Being Flynn - some love it, others hate it. I really had no interest in seeing it, but maybe someday...

      I have a feeling my bailing Bobby D out will prove to be a bad idea with the release of that 50 Cent flick and The Big Wedding, which just looks fucking awful.

      I agree that some people on the list don't really deserve to be there, but I was only allowed to bail one out! Funny, I caught Collateral on TV two nights ago. God, I just love Cruise in that.

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  7. So did someone manage to get von Trier into a treatment wing of the hoosegow? Where he can detox and get on some better psych meds? Just wondering. :-P

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    1. Ha, if he's thrown in the slammer, that's exactly the ward he needs to be in. I'd love to just sit down and talk to that guy and ask, "Okay, but... why?"

      Don't get me wrong, I love his films, but wow.

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    2. Hah! "Why?" indeed.

      I give you credit for being brave enough to watch all his movies. Based on what I've read, no one can deny that he is a complete mess of a human being, but even people who loathe his movies concede he has talent. I guess the question is whether he'll ever be able to use his abilities for good and not evil. :-P

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    3. I really do love his movies. I can't necessarily call them accessible, but I definitely dig his vision!

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  8. Haha love it. It's like how Heat should've been :P
    Great choices. Can't wait to see Silver Linings Playbook.

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    1. It is indeed! Silver Linings is a very good movie and De Niro is very good in it. Can't wait to hear what you think!

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  9. Fine picks. Should finally see Silver Linings Playbook this weekend. Looking forward to the return of De Niro.

    And I'd love a Pacino comeback, even if he's only in Insomnia form.

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    1. Oh you haven't seen it yet? Yeah man, hope you get to catch it soon. Definitely worthy of the hype.

      I'd love an Insomnia-esque comeback. Bring it on.

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  10. What an great idea for a communal post. Recent chair antics aside, Clint really doesn't deserve to be in the same discussion as the others on the list. He was fine in Trouble with the Curve, and J.Edgar wasn't all his fault. Not quite sure what Cruise is doing there either, everyone loved IM4, and Jack Reacher is getting positive talk. With Von Tier I really just think he was trying to make a joke at Cannes, it's just Von Tier doesn't know the first thing about humor or taste. In time and with a few more depression porn films, no one will remember "I understand the Nazis..." I would absolutely make Gerard Butler and Adam Sandler do serious Jail-time, now those two I would love to hear any defense for.

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    1. Yeah, I definitely agree that some in that list don't deserve to be there. But as a rule, I was only allowed to bail one out, and I felt Bobby D deserved it the most.

      Butler, Sandler and MANY others (David Gordon Green, perhaps) were all people I considered to throw in the slammer. But the heartbreak of Pacino's current career outweighed the pointless of all of theirs.

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  11. Al Pacino isn't someone I hope will be in your list, but then again I didn't follow his career much. I don't think De Niro is that bad either. Quite a choice there!

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    1. Thanks! Oh, believe me, I really wish I didn't feel compelled to put Pacino in there either, but his career speaks for itself, unfortunately. Thanks so much for reading and commenting, Andina!

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  12. Aniston can rot in there, although she was really, really good in Horrible Bosses. Ha @ Pacino being switched in for De Niro. I feel like it's karma from my post two days ago.

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    1. Aniston's career is a shame, because I actually think she's got it, but she just takes on these really bad films. Damn shame. I really dug her in Horrible Bosses as well.

      Bobby D for Old Al, fair trade!

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  13. I can't say I disagree with your choice or how you built the argument to condemn Al Pacino to the slammer. I do think both him and De Niro deserve the bad rap considering how much talent we all know is still in there. They've either become lazy with their choices, or complete sell-outs, or both.
    I have yet to see Silver Linings, but from what I've heard, this is a redeeming performance by Mr. De Niro that helps to erase his poor choices for the last decade or so.

    I have my reservations as to why Clint Eastwood is in "jail" though. I hope it's not related to his politics or, as some might say, to his recent touch of senility in the Republican National Convention. This is one of the most iconic figures in the history of cinema, a part of many great films as an actor and/or director. Someone should give him a break.

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    1. Silver Linings Playbook definitely contains a redeeming De Niro performance, but I fear that it is final hoorah. Looking over his upcoming films, there's just more worthless crap. I surely hope he's making bank for these awful films.

      If I had drafted the inital list, I wouldn't have had Eastwood in their either. That was Nostra and Terrence's choice, I was only lucky enough to bail one out!

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  14. I just watched You Don’t Know Jack and it's sad, because Pacino can clearly still deliver a good performance, it's not like his talent has just disappeared. But to be fair to him, he hasn't taken that many poor roles in the last 10 years or so. I for one thought he was superb in Insomnia and decent in S1m0ne.

    I'd still consider De Niro to keep his place just for the incredible amount of shit he agrees to appear in; Godsend, Meet the Fockers/Little Fockers, Hide and Seek and New Year's Eve. And though I haven't seen it, he may be getting rave reviews for Silver Linings Playbook, but he also appeared in two of the worst films of the year; Being Flynn and Red Lights.

    Red Lights has this hilariously bad scene in which we are first introduced to De Niro's character, this is how we find out that he is blind. Probably the most amusing thing I've seen in a film all year.
    http://i.imgur.com/JwB3O.jpg

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    1. You're right, Pacino hasn't taken on many bad roles in the past decade, but he hasn't taken on many roles period. And I'd argue that most of them have been crap, which is just a goddamn shame. He definitely still has the capacity act well, but he just... doesn't.

      I heard nothing but awful things about Red Lights. That scene sounds epic. Heard great and bad things about Being Flynn, which I have no interest in seeing. Sigh, just a bummer.

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  15. Being Flynn was just plain bad. Red Lights was actually fun to watch because it was such a trainwreck. I was disappointed though because I absolutely loved the director's previous film Buried with Ryan Reynolds.

    I think Pacino has been spending more time on broadway, and if I were him I'd happily spend my retired days performing the incredible script of Glengarry Glen Ross.

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    1. I'd love to see Pacino on Broadway, especially in Glengarry. That'd just be perfect.

      Might need to check out Red Lights soon. Sounds like it could be good for a laugh.

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  16. Ahah, well if it comes down to De Niro and Pacino, I'd throw the latter in jail too. De Niro was good in Silver Linings Playbook, nice to see him do a memorable performance in a GOOD film once again :)

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    1. Had to do it! I'd bail Pacino out in a second if he took on another good role, similar to De Niro's excellent work in Silver Linings.

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  17. ah, good ol Pacino. ha. I like the irony of switching DeNiro out for Pacino and the irony that both were on the relay race for best actor.

    Nice.

    Someone, PLEASE put Expressionless Kristen Stewart back in prison.

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    1. Ha, yes, the irony is thick as hell, and oh so very sad.

      Sati is extremely insistent on Stewart's career, but I'm with you... I just can't back her work up. Sigh, oh well.

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