Thursday, June 6, 2013

V/H/S/2

Everything about last year’s V/H/S felt pre-designed to turn me away. Contemporary horror is not my genre of choice, and adding the often-wasted found footage narrative to the mix tends to make things worse. But, for whatever reason, last October I was motivated to sit down and watch the film, much to my stunned joy. Later, I had a blast reading the insanely polarizing takes on the film. Some people loved it, some people hated it, and I dug the entertainingly divisive perspectives.

Now, just nine months after the release of the first film, the producers have issued a follow up, V/H/S/2. (Actually, V/H/S/2 premiered at Sundance in January, which is just three months after mainstream audiences got to see the first flick). I was impressed with the ingenuity in getting the sequel made, hoping it would live up to the original.

It doesn’t. At all. I could say something to the effect of “Period.” and chose to be done with this review, but let’s have a little fun picking this thing apart.
I enjoyed V/H/S for a few reasons: Parts were genuinely scary, and the overall movie felt fun. The filmmakers have attested to the fact that they meant for V/H/S to be a throwback – a fun, kitschy ride into horror hell. Agreed. I’m not sure if the team behind V/H/S/2 is going for the same vibe, but no matter the intentions, something is seriously lost in translation here.

First off, V/H/S/2 is not at all scary. The movie involves many a shocking turn-around-there’s-something-right-behind-you cheap thrill, but that’s fair enough. Most modern horror films have those. In the first segment, a young rich kid has surgery in which a fake eye (equipped with the capability to record) is inserted into his head. He soon learns that the eye allows him to see ghosts in his house. He sees them, they chase, he gets away, sees them, chase, gets away, repeat, repeat. This segment also contains the film’s most (unintentionally…?) hilarious moment, in which a self-assured young woman tells the guy the best way to get rid of the ghosts is to fuck each other’s brains out… in front of the ghosts. He doesn’t object.

The remaining three segments are more of the same: people spotting bad things and running away from them. Sure, one could argue that is the premise of most all horror movies, but to be more specific, segments two and three show people being killed, then turning into zombie-like creatures, then going after people. Segment four is about aliens going after people. So, yeah, not a lot of variety.
Beyond the film’s lack of frights, much of V/H/S/2 is just flat out dumb. Eduardo Sánchez (the co-director of the very effective Blair Witch Project) directs a segment in which people walk around like zombies from bad horror B movies of the ‘70s. Hands out, slow walk, loud groan, guts hanging – you get it.

While watching this segment, I couldn’t help but laugh. And I imagined myself watching V/H/S/2 in a packed midnight screening with hundreds of enthusiastic strangers. Maybe those strangers would’ve laughed with me. Maybe Sánchez wants us to laugh. Maybe he wants us to be in on his own joke. But what joke is that exactly? That modern horror is a joke of itself? That there are no remaining original ideas, so filmmakers are left to not only give us more of the same, but to mock their own material?

(In an effort of maintain fairness, the third segment, co-directed by Gareth Evans, who made the stunning film The Raid, is by far the highlight of V/H/S/2. It was the only one I enjoyed.)

I’ll end this by breaking V/H/S/2 down into the simplest terms I can. If you did not enjoy V/H/S, you will not enjoy its sequel. If you did enjoy V/H/S, maybe there is hope for you. But I doubt it. Period. D 

14 comments:

  1. I actually really enjoyed the first even though it's technically an atrociously made film! The first had me on the edge of my seat and paranoid for the rest of the night, which is always good.

    This one doesn't sound too good though. Did they rush through it perhaps? Has the quality been lowered in order to get a faster release?

    Also, how did you see this?

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    1. Oh I really dug the first one too, no doubt.

      Did they rush the sequel? Maybe. But in terms of quality, this one is a vast improvement over the first. The cameras they shot with are infinitely superior to those used in V/H/S. Which, in turn, is what makes the sequel less appealing. After all, I felt that the first was technically atrocious on purpose, you know?

      I rented it from iTunes. I don't recommend that you do the same.

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  2. I still haven't seen the first one, but I doubt I'll check this one out, even if I dig its predecessor. Though, Gareth Evans' segment sounds like it's worth watching.

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    1. You could easily watch the Evans segment by itself and be good. Definitely don't need to see the others to get the full effect. It's whacko though. Ha.

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  3. Huh. All the other reviews for this i read seemed to like it. Now i don't know whether to look forward to this anymore

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    1. I checked out some reviews after I posted mine, and you're right, most I've read have been rather positive. I dunno man, it did nothing for me. Wasn't scared in the slightest.

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  4. seriously? the zombie one is SUPPOSED to be kind of funny. not only that, but it shows how bad a zombie outbreak would be and the sadness that would transpire from it. that last scene is soooo sad and i was not expecting it at all. this is quality horror. you are ignorant to think this is just things going after people (things do go after people, though). its a fresh spin on movie direction, filming, and the way stories are told. Safe Haven (3rd short story) is genuinely disturbing, combining multiple genres into one, and it works.

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    1. I'm wondering if you actually read my review, or skimmed select words here and there. I asked outright if Sánchez wants us to laugh. Upon reflection, I think he does, but I still have no idea what the joke is. Do you?

      Also, thanks for calling me ignorant, then contradicting your insult in the same sentence. You're not very good at this, are you?

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    2. you're right. i apologize for the insult (not sarcasm, i really am sorry) what i mean is that, while things are going after people, their is much more to it than that and i feel like you should've gone more in depth. there are jokes like how the zombie bites himself and spits it back out, the bikers wife eating him right after the where together, and you can even hear the main zombie grunt in a questioning manner when she does it, then gives off an "oh well" grunt right after. then while they are eating him, he turns, and they just look at each other for a few seconds

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    3. Okay, honestly, I really appreciate you coming back and apologizing. That is very cool of you (again, no sarcasm I may part either, I mean it).

      I do have one question though, from the few reviews I've read of this flick, it seems that most critics' least favorite segment was this one. Again, yeah, maybe I was a little too hard on it, but I'm not the only one, you know? I'm certainly no Rex Reed.

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  5. understandable. it is a classic zombie outbreak scenario, and not much else. but what really makes me care about this one so much and what makes it stick out from most zombie movies/short films ive seen is the ending. and from the reviews that ive read, most of them have said the Alien Abduction Slumber Party was the worst. the ones i read have actually put this one in the number 2 spot (Safe Haven is by far the best), and some even gave it that position specifically because of the ending. but everyone has their own opinions, so i will do my best to respect them

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    1. I didn't get around to mentioning Safe Haven from your initial comment. I really did love that short. I think that one will be remembered for a very long time. Had me on the edge of my seat.

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  6. I'm so glad to finally see a bad review for this garbage. Too many people like this film, and it worries me that people today are accepting garbage like this for real horror. There is no hope left for the once greatest genre.

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    1. Yeah, this one did next to nothing for me. I enjoyed that Gareth Evans segment, but that was it.

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