Monday, August 8, 2011

When Birthday Parties Go Bad

The joy of the birthday party.  In life, birthday parties bring friends and family together to celebrate the birth of a loved one.  In film, they usually do the same, which often translates to rather boring, plot exposition-laced cinema.  In honor of my birthday, I’ve put a fresh spin on things and listed a few parties I wouldn’t like to attend anytime soon.  Enjoy!

The Birds
When I was seven, I may or may not have been attacked by seagulls on a beach while carrying a ziplock bag full of powdered donuts.  Which is why this scene may or may not depict the worst birthday in the history of film.

The Omen
You gotta love that after a few screams and an extended moment of silence, Damien’s birthday party pretty much carries on as normal after the nanny offs herself.  Ahh, the eccentricities of the rich.

The Game
Showing the birthday party scene from this movie would ruin the entirety of David Fincher’s mad ass crazy lucid dream of a film.  So instead, here’s in early scene that puts the titular game in motion.  If you’ve never seen this movie, I must ask: what are you waiting for?

Ok let’s be honest, it’d be pretty damn cool to not only spot a legit alien at your birthday party, but it get it on video and sell it to every major television network in the world, too.  This scene seems silly now, but it garnered some serious screams in the cinema.

Honorable Mention:
Not technically a party, but the scene in Good Will Hunting in which Matt Damon’s pals give Will the “ugliest fuckin’ car” he’s ever scene is a complete riot.  In a film filled with Oscar-winning dialogue, Cole Hauser’s “You’re legally allowed to drink now, so we figured the best thing for you was a car,” line remains one of the film’s best.


  1. What about The Royal Tenenbaums?

    When Margot announces she's going to bed after her dad didn't like her play, then everyone awkwardly sings happy birthday.

  2. Awesome list! My mind went to the birthday party scenes from Problem Child and Old School. Happy Birthday!!

  3. @Evan, I forgot about that! How exactly is it that Hackman (and Glover, obviously) didn't get nominated? You wanna talk some jive!?

    @Robert, good choices. I like you, but, you--you're crazy, man.

  4. I can't believe I never saw this post before, but there is no "may not" when it comes to the seagulls and powdered donuts. I witnessed it--your mom and I went hunting down gulls later that day for revenge. And their attack on you was the impetus for the joke about making newbies to the beach a straw hat with donuts hanging off it.